Sunday, January 25, 2009

The "Slumdog Millionaire" Scandal

How to turn a cheap sentimental melodrama into an International Blockbuster:

The Recipe:
1. The basic ingredient is a cheap sentimental melodrama.
2. Throw in some dollops of Mumbai-slums and cliched stories of Indian beggars.
3. Everybody now likes the taste of communal violence. So add communal violence.
4. Shoot the film in India but no Hindi please. The taste has to be universal to do good business. So punch in English dialogues as much as possible. Hire a British director. Forgot to tell you that the recipe is from Britain but uses Indian ingredients.
5. For the icing on the cake, add A.R. Rahman to the concoction. Stir well. You will hear a cacaphony at the end. The dish is now complete and will need garnishing now.
6. For garnishing add oil so that it does smooth rounds at the International Film Festivals. There will always be film-critics who will write rave reviews if you gift them a pen worth ten rupees and there will always be critics who have long lost their sanity from an overdose of films.
7. Finally place some morons at vantage points with placards "I luv my india".

The dish is complete and ready to serve. Serve it hot.

Needless to say that this is the most over-hyped and overrated movie coming out of the Bollywood or Britain. It intrigues me why the entire newsprint and electronic media would push this particular film so hard, convincing people that this shit actually smells of roses. Is it just for business or is there a more intricate part in their gameplan which we are unaware of? Whatever it be I have never imagined that critics and the so called intellectuals of the world can so well be bought. From Film Festivals to Oscar Nominations the buzz about the film is everywhere. Finally a realization is dawning - I can smell Ayn Rand's "Fountainhead".

2 comments:

Sriram said...

Well said. I believe the power of English Press. They can dump any good movie and lift cheap movies to any level!

Milroy said...

“SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE” DOES NOT SUCKS!

Slumdog Millionaire, has hit the screenings in INOX. With reference to the Times of India dated 24th Jan 2009. I'm indeed shocked to read about Shiv Sena damages Panaji Multiplex, What Shiv Sena has got to do with Goa?? They are better in Mumbai. (My only next concern is that they don't ban on 'Valentines Day'; like how they do damage in Mumbai every Year. What they got to do with the tradition or culture that has been in Goa or else where. They say Valentines Day is western tradition. It's a feast of St Valentines, and a family, friends and lovers celebration no matter where the tradition comes from but has wonderful meaning.)
I guess Goan's don't go that deep into the act of Shiv Sena damaging Panaji Multiplex, tomorrow they will damage other places with another excuse. NGO's must make it clear that these people don't rule Goa like that of Mumbai.
Whereas about Slumdog Millionaire; I have read the critics from Arindam Chaudhuri. While I say; where there is success there are critics. And when there are critics, they have silly excuses to outburst. I’m totally don’t agree to Arindam Chaudhuri. Like on this one: The flash back scene in the film. If they demand the scene as they want, I wonder as if they are film-makers. Which ever films releases in India, goes through Censor Board Certification. And whatever then releases has a certificate. They why ban when there is already censorship?
One Good thing that censor board does for Bollywood movies, they don't cross check whether the film is copied from Hollywood or the music copied from western or Hollywood original score. And there is no Shiv Sena to bring ban on Bollywood films which are imitated. And most of the movies are, anyways.
I still remember the Hussain's controversy and how they protest on the art. While i say, there are many old monuments, sculptures where the Goddess is portrayed nude. While Hussain in this modern generation portrait the art of nudity it’s been taken for trial?
If these Fringe group are so furious to destroy his paintings, then why not they destroy the old monuments and sculptures even there is nudity art??

Similarly, the movies, Like "Water", its an art of India but was never appreciated but indeed has won million appreciation from abroad audiences. Even "Da Vinci Code" its all creative and imaginative work or one's opinion on the subject. My frined Pankaj says "If the faith is strong, what's the worry!".

Kiss was discovered in India, but Indian's are afraid of Kissing and would not appreciate (Besides Goan's)
"The Indian epic poem "Mahabharata" describes kissing on the lips as a sign of affection. The "Mahabharata" was passed down orally for several hundred years before being written down and standardized around 350 A.D. The Indian religious text "Vatsyayana Kamasutram," or the "Kama Sutra," also describes a variety of kisses. It was written in the 6th century A.D. Anthropologists who believe that kissing is a learned behavior theorize that the Greeks learned about it when Alexander the Great invaded India in 326 B.C."


And what you have got to say about Valentines Day?? You only know to distinguish Western and Indian. First learn what is Indian and make your speech. You should have then comment. And there is nothing great about Amitabh Bachchan, if you watch some of the old Hollywood movies you’ll see how many times Amitabh Bachchan replicated. Even listen to the old English / Western songs and tell me which of the latest Bollywood songs have similar tunes?? Be practical, and appreciate Slumdog Millionaire.
If you still want to know something more interesting “ Mera mulk mera desh [Film: Diljale (1996)]
Inspired by Israel's national anthem, 'Hatikvah'.
Listen to Mera mulk (http://www.itwofs.com/audio/MeraMulk-Diljale.rm)
| Hatikvah (http://www.itwofs.com/audio/Hatikvah-EnricoMacias.rm)

The interesting fact is that the original is supposedly based on an 17th century Italian song called ‘La Mantovana’ and has been in use in other forms across Spain, Poland and even Ukraine!

Danny Boyle did better Job.. u cant compare to Amitab Bachaan or ur Yash Raj or Mahesh Bhat Movies or Amir Khan or Slaman whoever..
all copied form Hollywood.

"Ghajini" copied from Hollywood "Memento" do watch it.

"God tussi Great" copied from Hollywood "Bruce Almightly"

"Awara Pagal Deewana" copied from Hollywood "There is something about Mary"

Just name the Movie i have you the answer.

another Bollywood movie copied from "Feel like Heaven"

Dude just remove your coat and stop that A/c.

Watch HBO or Star Movies

If your watching Star Plus.. do watch Star World.

Dont get scared to watch kissing scene.. after all kiss was discovered in India as i said in my earlier post.

"Jessy Jaise Koi Nai" is a clear copy of Fox Tv series "Ugly Betty"

"Kaun Banega Corepati" is the clear copy of "Who wanna be Millionaire"

"Kya aap Pachvi pass se teez hai?" clear copy of "Are you smarter than Fifth Grader?"

"Big Boss" is copied from "Big Brother"

"American Idol" to "Indian Idol"

Even old movies are copied from Western or Hollywood movies, since not much Indian audience were too in English. Now Even Indian Directors copy movie of North-Pole .. media and internet is so prompt to get the information to South-Pole.

Some Indian discriminate M.F Hussain for the nudity art.. But i appreciate him. But Nudity is there on old monuments. Go see them or cover them with cloths.

Dont be "Shiv Sena or other filthy orthodox." Be Indian Sena.. and face the TRUTH.

- Milroy Goes
"I'm a true Indian too"
(Original Composition)
milroy.goes@gmail.com